How to Be Old: Lyn Slater’s Lessons in Living Boldly
Lyn Slater’s powerful memoir reveals how aging is a vibrant journey of reinvention, creativity, and self-expression at every stage.
What does it truly mean to age with style, purpose, and relevance? In her memoir, How to Be Old, Lyn Slater—a professor-turned-fashion-blogger known as ‘Accidental Icon’—explores the art of aging as a journey filled with possibilities instead of limits. From challenging stereotypes to embracing continual transformation, Slater’s story inspires readers to redefine what it means to grow older and live boldly at every stage.
Her reflections are far more than personal anecdotes. They address universal experiences and concerns, particularly for women, and offer actionable wisdom for nurturing creativity, visibility, and self-worth, regardless of chronological age.
Why How to Be Old Is a Defining Book on Aging Well
Lyn Slater’s memoir stands out because it reframes aging from a process of loss to an ongoing adventure of reinvention. Drawing on her own experiences, she encourages readers to:
- Take control of your narrative: The story you tell about yourself evolves with each chapter of life, and you are its author.
- Accept continual change: Each decade—and each day—brings new opportunities for growth. Desires and priorities naturally shift over time.
- Create boldly at any age: Self-expression, experimentation, and risk-taking are timeless. Reinvention isn’t reserved for youth.
According to Slater, “Taking control of how you want to live your life and what story you want to tell about yourself is an act that transcends age.” These ideas provide a foundation for embracing the aging process as an ongoing creative endeavor.
The Accidental Icon: Reinventing Identity at Sixty
Slater began her blog, Accidental Icon, at 61 following a class at the Fashion Institute of Technology. What started as a style blog quickly evolved to explore deeper themes: self-definition, the intersection of fashion and internal life, and the evolving role of women in society.
- Professional transformation: Formerly a professor of social work, Slater reinvented herself through education, style, and online engagement.
- Creative risk-taking: Her blog’s content moved beyond outfits, delving into personal reflections and cultural commentary.
- Community building: Her vulnerability and curiosity attracted followers across ages, demonstrating a universal desire for relevance and connection.
Through Accidental Icon, Slater became a model for experimenting with identity, resisting societal expectations, and cultivating a meaningful online and offline life in her sixties and beyond.
The Five Key Lessons on Aging from Lyn Slater
Slater’s memoir breaks down aging into five transformative lessons, each rooted in her experiences and broader cultural insights:
1. Reinvention is Forever Possible
Slater emphasizes that aging isn’t the end of aspiration, but the beginning of new adventures. Reinvention is always within reach:
- Letting go of old roles or identities, such as her academic career or the Accidental Icon persona, can be painful but opens space for growth.
- Creativity and hope fuel the ability to embrace changes in body, mind, and circumstance.
- Reinvention isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about becoming more of who you truly are.
This lesson encourages readers to greet each decade as an opportunity for creative renewal, regardless of age.
2. Choose How You Think About Aging
Attitude plays a central role in how one experiences aging:
- Your perception of aging shapes your health, emotional well-being, and receptivity to new opportunities.
- Learning to view ‘old’ as a privilege—an achievement that deserves gratitude and celebration.
- Rejecting internalized ageism and the societal narrative that aging is solely negative.
As Slater writes, “There is one aspect of getting older that is under our control: how we choose to think about our age.” This mindset is a powerful tool for shaping the trajectory of later life.
3. Embrace the Adventure: Aging as Creative Process
Slater compares aging to writing a new story or curating a wardrobe—repurposing, adapting, and evolving:
- She reflects on the need for continuous adaptation: “My body and the world have changed, and once again I’m finding my clothes no longer fit. It’s time to write a new story, to reuse in imaginative ways garments that already hang in my closet.”
- Aging is not static, but a dynamic journey full of chances for self-discovery and expression.
- The process is hopeful and future-oriented, always presenting options for connection, creativity, and bold choices.
This principle encourages ongoing experimentation—embracing curiosity, trying new things, and viewing each change as an adventure.
4. Aging Does Not Make You Invisible
One of the strongest messages in Slater’s memoir is the rejection of “invisibility” in older age, especially for women:
- Society often values women for qualities tied to youth, such as beauty or reproductive ability, while older women’s internal lives are neglected.
- Slater writes, “…youth is not a stand-in for a self. I want women to know that while our bodies may change, the self is ours to imagine; it never leaves us.”
- All the ages lived reside within each woman, making her richer in wisdom and experience.
- Women can—and should—dress, behave, and take up space as they wish, regardless of what is deemed “appropriate.”
By celebrating the self that accumulates all experiences, Slater empowers her readers to resist marginalization and remain visible, engaged, and expressive at every age.
5. Your Perspective Always Holds Value
The value of older age lies in the unique insights, empathy, and compassion developed over a lifetime:
- As people age, their distinctive perspective is an “embellishment” bringing beauty and sparkle to the world.
- Recognition of one’s own worth, independent of external validation, is a form of radical self-acceptance.
- Each person’s lived experience contributes irreplaceable knowledge to their community and society.
Slater’s lesson is clear: True beauty is found in wisdom, curiosity, and connection—and these increase over time.
Slater’s Personal Story: Vulnerability, Loss, and Growth
Underlying these lessons are Slater’s candid reflections on loss, grief, and emotional struggle:
- Her mother’s decline and passing deeply affected her, as did letting go of former identities (like her academic career and Accidental Icon persona).
- She describes the “disaster” of her first draft and the need to creatively process grief.
- Letting go, not always having an agenda, and accepting vulnerability were vital steps in moving forward.
Slater’s realism about aging—acknowledging both the hardships and the possibilities—makes her lessons relatable and actionable. Her courage to share openly provides readers meaningful strategies for growth and resilience.
Aging, Creativity, and the Evolution of Style
Fashion is more than aesthetics for Slater; it’s a metaphor and instrument for creative aging:
- Fashion as self-definition: Clothes reflect and shape identity throughout each stage of life.
- Breaking conventions: Age should not constrain style choices. Self-expression and experimentation can flourish at any age.
- Curating presence: Remaining visible and relevant may mean rewriting “rules” about appearance and behavior.
Slater’s story reminds readers that creativity flourishes with age, making style and self-expression acts of empowerment.
Connection, Community, and the Power of Representation
Lyn Slater’s impact reaches far beyond her own transformation:
- Her vulnerability and authenticity fostered a dynamic online community, giving voice to the feelings and insecurities shared across generations.
- Younger followers found inspiration in her refusal to be invisible; older followers saw a bold alternative to stereotypes.
- Her story highlights the universal need to be known, understood, and valued.
Slater’s memoir serves not only as guidance for personal growth but also as an invitation for society to rethink the value of older individuals and cultivate inclusive spaces for dialogue, creativity, and empowerment.
Developing a Future-Oriented Attitude Toward Aging
- Slater encourages readers to look forward with hope and curiosity, not fear or regret.
- She models how planning, welcoming unpredictability, and maintaining an experimental spirit can make every next step exciting.
- Her own anticipation for her seventies and beyond demonstrates the ongoing nature of self-discovery.
This forward-thinking process, coupled with realistic acceptance of challenges, ensures that aging is never stagnant but always full of possibilities.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q: What is the central message of Lyn Slater’s How to Be Old?
A: The book encourages embracing aging as a process of creative reinvention, self-acceptance, and ongoing relevance, rejecting stereotypes of decline and invisibility.
Q: How does Slater redefine visibility for older women?
A: Slater rejects society’s tendency to assign invisibility to older women. She asserts that self-expression, wisdom, and internal growth make women visible, impactful, and relevant throughout life.
Q: How can creativity help in the aging process?
A: Viewing aging as a creative challenge enables individuals to adapt, experiment, and thrive, finding new ways to express identity and discover opportunities for fulfillment.
Q: Does Slater’s approach involve ignoring the difficulties of aging?
A: No, Slater acknowledges substantial losses and struggles. Her approach combines realism with hope, promoting creative and compassionate responses to challenges.
Q: Is reinvention only for those with public platforms or creative careers?
A: Absolutely not. Slater’s story illustrates that reinvention is possible for anyone, regardless of prior roles or visibility. It’s an attitude that can be adopted by all.
Actionable Takeaways for Readers
- Embrace change as an opportunity for growth—see each phase of life as a chance to become more authentic.
- Reject societal standards that tie value to youth or appearance—prioritize the wisdom and connection gained with age.
- Experiment with self-expression and style—allow creativity to flourish beyond conventional limits.
- Build communities of support—engage with others openly and vulnerably to foster mutual growth.
- Celebrate every age—remember that all lived experiences contribute to a rich, evolving self.
Conclusion
Lyn Slater’s How to Be Old offers a paradigm shift in thinking about aging. By framing every stage as a source of creativity, relevance, and beauty, her story invites readers to discard outdated narratives of decline and embrace the adventure of growing older. Her lessons are universally relevant, delivering not just hope but tools for living boldly, compassionately, and with unending curiosity. Aging well, according to Slater, means turning every new decade into a canvas for reinvention, connection, and sparkling self-worth.
References
- https://camillestyles.com/wellness/lyn-slater-how-to-be-old/
- https://sites.prh.com/howtobeold
- https://lithub.com/fashionably-old-lyn-slater-on-aging-with-attitude/
- https://elenabowes.com/qa-with-lyn-slater-how-to-be-oldlessons-in-living-boldly-from-the-accidental-icon/
- https://twinmind.com/summaries/lyn-slater-how-to-be-old-lessons-in-living-boldly-msbgdegcvga
- https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/books/lyn-slater-how-to-be-old/
